Shattered Composure
by magical m
Summary: Janeway steals a kiss from the time-line and risks changing her future. Spoiler from 'Shattered'


_**Shattered Composure**_

Rating: T

Spoiler: Contains spoiler from "Shattered"

Summary: Janeway steals a kiss from the timeline and risks changing the future

Credits: Special thanks to Trindajae for the beta work and to J/C Haven for the pointers on my first fic.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all characters, spatial anomalies and temporal rifts. No infringement intended. I'm just tweaking them here and there.

"_Mind if I ask you one last question?"_

"_Do I have to break the temporal prime directive to answer it?"_

"_Maybe, just a little."_

"_For two people who started off as enemies it seems we get to know each other pretty well. So, I was wondering just how close do we get?"_

"_Let's just say there are some barriers we never cross."_

Kathryn had a feeling that the handsome Maquis was not telling her the whole truth. If she was right in guessing that he had also become her lover, then steeling a kiss from time would do no harm. Acknowledging the answer was not as she expected Kathryn glanced down and then offered him a handshake with a smile. So much for that kiss good bye.

"_See you in the future." _She says quickly regained more professional demeanor.

He took her hand with a gentle smile but could not hide the tender longing in his eyes. Standing on the brink of that barrier once again, still holding her hand, Chakotay closed his eyes. Chakotay's face betrayed his answer, and revealed another much more complicated than the one that was spoken.

Closing the last bit of space between them, Kathryn softly inquired, "What is it?"

He breathed deeply, trying to muster the self-control needed to not kiss this Kathryn Janeway, but Chakotay's concentrated deep breath was blown away by her fragrance so close to his person.

He opened his eyes and focused his gaze on her lips, her cheeks, her hair, and then her eyes. At a loss for words, the expressions playing across his face give away all his thoughts: love, respect, sensual desire, apprehension, pain, and passion again. Caught, with a sheepish smile he began a retraction for all that the silent moment spoke. "I, ah…I'm sorry…Ka…Captain…"

But Kathryn silenced him with a finger on his lips, which was quickly followed by her own lips. It was an instinctive decision, not her first nor would it be her last. She trusted him and she knew his eyes did not lie. There was more he could not say, but she saw it so clearly. She knew the answer so she kissed him.

His hunger for her quickly surpassed his surprise. He kissed her back first carefully and then passionately as he sensed her receptivity. Filling both arms with Kathryn, he stepped around her and turned her placing her back against the warp core railing. His body pressed against hers, while his hands traveled much of her body partly in sensual exploration and partly in a loving hug. One hand stopped under her chin, caressing and exploring her neck. The other hand boldly let down her hair and fingers fleetingly played in its locks.

Chakotay broke the kiss, that she too was evidently lost in, and met her eyes with a completely unashamed gaze.

Kathryn was befuddled. Wonder, arousal, and the genuine warmth of his love flooded her senses. Standing in front of the warp core, the words "Captain" and "Commander" had some vague meaning but the electricity in the room shorted out whatever meaning that was. No woman could be passionately consumed like that and be left with any sense of needing a commanding presence.

The hand that was gently caressing her neck took her chin. His fingers caressed her lips in recent memory of their taste. With a quirky half smile Chakotay spoke, "Guess today is a day for crossing barriers."

It's Kathryn's turn to smile sheepishly. Wanting to think of a witty reply or to do anything but stare into the passion and love in this man's eyes, she stood still and silent, waiting for and thus inviting more.

Seeing Kathryn's guard for the first time so completely down, Chakotay tenderly kissed her again and then drew her close to him in a hug. He kissed her neck, and then quietly whispered near her ear. "Kathryn, if I did not have to put your ship back together, I'd try my luck and see how many barriers you would let me cross right here and now."

Kathryn startled at Chakotay's forthrightness, her face blushed deep a red. Saturated and absorbed in his passion and his love, Kathryn did not realize her response made her appear that 'easy.'

Chakotay aided her recovery by taking a step back. All but his laughing eyes, he appeared the polite and gentlemanly officer allowing her to pass. Wonder in her eyes, and still blushing, Janeway stepped past him. Over her shoulder she managed an almost composed smile.

A playful glint of desire radiated her countenance and a slight swing creeped into her step. Walking away she called back to him, "Whatever barriers you say we have not broken, this obviously was not the first time you thought of… crossing barriers…in seven years."

Chakotay watched her walk until she neared the exit to engineering and replied, "Pity only one of us will remember this, six minutes from now."

Kathryn stopped and her face fell. Had she ever been kissed her like that? Clearly this Maquis would be an amazing lover! But she was about to spend God knows how long trapped on the other side of the Galaxy with him and never find that out! Damn!

She turned to face him again.

"Why in seven years does this never happen?"

He pursed his lips and bowed his head towards her in acknowledgment, "You are asking me?"

Seeing that she clearly wanted an answer: "Protocol, Captain, protocol. As fourth generation Starfleet, you do not want to cross that barrier. Remember, I am… or will be your First Officer."

Kathryn tilted her head slightly considering the reason, "I was once engaged to my senior officer." And more quietly, "Hmm, but would I…"

"I know. That is why I think protocol is your hiding place. Really I think it's…"

"It's what?"

Deciding there was nothing to lose as time would soon clear her memory, he replied, "Guilt, survivor guilt perhaps, and definitely guilt over stranding Voyager in the delta quadrant. It has played into a lot of your decisions. You seem determined to not to let yourself be happy, determined that you have to pay some extra toll instead of making the best of it, like everyone else."

Janeway became very sober. Not only did he make her knees weak but he knew her so well. She wondered if her future self could see that. She stepped towards him and asked gingerly, "Is there nothing you can do?"

"Without breaking the temporal prime directive?" he joked to break the tension. Then walked towards her and tenderly added, "If you are asking, and if that is what you really want, then I'll see what I can do."

Kathryn rested her hand on his shoulder and met his deep dark gaze one more time, "I am asking."

Kissing her goodbye he added, "I'll do my best, but now its time to fix your ship. I'll work on her captain later, I promise."

Satisfied, she exited Engineering and fixed her hair on the way to the Bridge.


End file.
